an argument for love: personal essay


co/ pinterest

co/ pinterest

I am a believer. I believe there is a thing called, “love.” The kind of love you see in movies and hear about in songs. The kind of love that overtakes your body and mind and soul. That disgusting kind of love that makes people on the outside cringe at your happiness. A love that puts everything in slow motion with a great song playing in the background and leads to happily ever after. A love that consumes you, turning you into a dreadful pirate that’s forced to travel across seas, climb The Cliffs of Insanity, battle a Spaniard in a sword fight, wrestle a Giant and win in a battle of wits by developing an immunity to iocane powder... all in the name of love.

Perhaps I’m not a believer, but a dreamer. Maybe this kind of love only exists in fairytales. The divorce rate in America fluctuates between 40-50% on average and goes up demographically to 75% among surgeons and police officers. Every time I thought I was in love I reached out and realized I was holding onto nothing at all and then I'm left wondering, why didn't I see it before? Was I wishing for a kind of love that doesn’t exist, tricking myself into believing it was real? Did I make the mistake of setting myself up for failure because really, he’s just not that into you? Will my real life Wesley ever come and find me? Will I ever get to ride off into the sunset on a white horse with my prince (our Spaniard and Giant by our sides)?

What if true love finds me and I'm too afraid to take it. What if he appears before me as the Dread Pirate Roberts and I've been spoken for by Prince Humperdink. And now I am too dumb and blind to see true love staring right at me, fighting for me, battling rodents of unusual size while facing torture in the pits of despair. Will I ever be able to get away from this fear of hurt and pain to take a leap of faith and hope that he won’tlet me fall? How do you let someone take your heart and trust that they won't break it when you already know what it can feel like? How do you ever find that courage again?

I'm sure the Wicked Witch of the West was once just a nice girl who just had her heart broken one too many times. I mean, a girl can only take so much heartache before she turns to the dark side. Misery loves company so she can be my friend. We can go shopping and be bitter against the world and lash out at happy people because they are happy and we are not. Perhaps that’s not the way to go either. I can’t imagine having to spend my life bringing fear and anguish to all the other Munchkins. No, I will have to find my own way down the yellow brick road (perhaps with the help of a few friends, even if one of them is quite cowardly). Prince or no prince, I have to be the true hero of this story and make my own happily ever after. Although I've always thought green looked good on me.

"True Love has never been a snap" - The Princess Bride.